At times counseling seems like a secret and mysterious thing. Counselors rarely talk about what happens in a session. People are hesitant to tell others if they have been in counseling. Some counseling professionals use big words, with abstract meanings that add to the mystery.
Thankfully there has been a lot of research done to understand exactly what makes counseling effective for 75% to 80% of the people who experience it (Levy, Ablon & Kachele, 2012). Much of the research focused on what those in counseling find most helpful. They attribute 40% of change to outside factors like internal resources and life circumstances. 30% of change is attributed to the counselor/counselee relationship, 15% to hope or expectations of change, and 15% to technique or interventions (Seligman & Reichenberg, 2014). So, if you have ever wondered how going to counseling would help here are four things that give counseling the power to change.
The Counseling Relationship
Carl Rogers described empathy, unconditional positive regard, and congruence as the three most important factors in the counseling relationship (Seligman & Reichenberg, 2014). Empathy is the feeling you get when someone truly understands you. They seem to have experienced what you have experienced and are feeling it with you in that very moment. Unconditional positive regard is the radical acceptance of you just as you are. In counseling it is the opportunity to share the deepest parts of your self and to have them accepted no matter how dark or scary. Congruence is the ability of your counselor to be authentic while providing clear, sensitive, and helpful feedback (Seligman & Reichenberg, 2014).
Hope and expectation
Those that experience the most benefit from counseling are those that have hope and expectation that it can work. They are fully engaged in the counseling process and understand that although counseling will be uncomfortable it is worth the effort. Motivation is another factor that leads to increased benefit. Willingness to self-disclose, confront problems, take risks, and try new things are all important factors in the counseling process.
Specific techniques implemented by the counselor are another important part of counseling success. A counselor must be able to create an environment of safety and trust for the client. It is also important that the counselor have a variety of interventions to choose from depending on the unique circumstances each client is facing. In my practice I use techniques like Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and Emotion Focused Couples Therapy (EFT). I adapt each of these techniques to address the specific needs of the individual or family.
Counseling with Presence
The best description I have found of how counseling works was given by Henri Nouwen in his book “Wounded Healer” he says,
“The emptiness of the past and the future can ever be filled with words, but only by the presence of a human being.”
Counseling is about sharing your story in the presence of an empathic, accepting, and authentic human being. It is in sharing this experience that one can begin to feel more human, more loved, and more connected to God, themselves, and others.
If you would like to begin this journey to connection call me at 217-231-1413
Levy, R. A., Ablon, J. S., & Kachele, H. (Eds.). (2012). Psychodynamic psychotherapy research. New York, NY: Humana Press.
Seligman, L. & Reichenberg, L. W. (2014). Theories of counseling and psychotherapy (4th ed.) Boston, MA: Pearson.