Marriage Therapist: the Four Horsemen antidotes

In my previous post entitled Marriage Therapy: The Four Horsemen I introduced you to the work of marriage therapist couple John and Julie Gottman regarding the four communication patterns that are strongly correlated with divorce.  These four horsemen are Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling.  Thankfully the Gottmans have also identified the antidotes to the four … Continue reading Marriage Therapist: the Four Horsemen antidotes

Marriage Therapy: The Four Horsemen

Marriage therapy is focused on helping couples heal the hurts that have accrued over the years in a relationship.   It is common for couples to enter marriage therapy deeply hurt, angry, and frustrated.  It is also common for couples to have a hard time articulating exactly what it is that brought them to such a … Continue reading Marriage Therapy: The Four Horsemen

Forgiveness in Marriage

Sometimes in marriage counseling we encounter couples that overcome their demon dialogues, create a new dance of intimacy, and rewrite the story of their marriage. Yet, just when it appears they will move to a deeper level of connection one partner brings up a seminal incident that they just can’t seem to “let go”. Susan … Continue reading Forgiveness in Marriage

Marriage Conversations for Connection

My last post regarding couples counseling discussed the three demon dialogues described by Susan Johnson in her book Created for Connection. The three patterns of conflict most common in couples counseling are called find the bad guy, the protest polka, and freeze and flee. Each dialogue is a unique pattern of couple interaction driven by … Continue reading Marriage Conversations for Connection

Marriage Counseling, The Demon Dialogues

We provide Marriage counseling in Quincy, IL by leading couples through the process of recognizing and reshaping their relational dance.  In a previous post (linked here) I discussed this process as presented by Susan Johnson the developer of Emotion Focused Couples Therapy. Susan describes emotion as the music that drives the interaction (dance steps) of the … Continue reading Marriage Counseling, The Demon Dialogues

Marriage Counseling

We provide couples therapy in Quincy, IL for couples that have experienced disconnection, infidelity, conflict, or separation.  Couples therapy is one of the most important services I have the privilege of providing. Often time’s couples come to me not knowing exactly what went wrong in their relationship. Not only that, they struggle to figure out … Continue reading Marriage Counseling

How to create a great marriage

How do you create a great marriage? At the end of couples counseling sessions I often ask, "what is one thing you could do to serve your spouse this week?"  If a great marriage is something that is created, I believe serving your spouse is the first act of creation. What are some ways we … Continue reading How to create a great marriage

5 Ways to Connect With Your Spouse

Connection with our children is crucial, however research also shows that the relationship between a child’s parents is also very important for childhood outcomes. Beyond that having a connection with your spouse just makes married life more enjoyable and rewarding. Here are five simple ways to connect with your spouse Plan a Date night: Be … Continue reading 5 Ways to Connect With Your Spouse